Wedding Planning

I was so honored to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of one of the teachers in the primary school, James Kariuki. While it was a church wedding, the Kenyans have some beautful unique traditions.
Courtship is a relatively private thing: while your "allies" (friends) likely know you have a "friend," the parents generally don't know until things are very serious. There is also such thing as a "Come we stay" marriage, where basically it is exactly as it sounds. You come and you stay with your spouse -- some eventually have an official wedding but it's not required. I guess this kind of marriage happens very quickly; you maybe meet someone in the market and soon after decide to come and stay.
There is no big proposal or engagement ring. Instead, when the couple decides they would like to be married, the man goes with some of his close friends and relatives to negotiate the dowry with the bride's parents. A couple weeks after this, the man along with close friends brings the dowry -- goats, chickens, and/or money -- along with soda or beer to the bride's parents, and if they accept, then the wedding is announced. I guess some parents are greedy and so won't agree to the wedding if the bride-price isn't high enough, but nowadays the dowry is becoming less critical and more dependent on individual situations. In my opinion, it doesn't at all seem like the husband is buying a bride. Rather, it is as if the man is proving that he is capable of caring for another person using financial responsibility, as it takes time, and work, to save for a dowry. People are very surprised that a fiancee in the U.S. has to maybe take the Dad of the bride to lunch to ask permission and give a ring.
All of this exchange usually happens only about 2 months before the wedding! A wedding committee of about 20 people is then formed, with positions like secretary and chairperson. They meet weekly to plan the wedding. This is mostly the groom's responsibility as well, but the bride is certainly involved (naturally especially in picking colors and outfits for the bridal party! Kenyan men are not afraid to admit they don't know how to match things nicely). People pledge an amount to help to pay for the wedding. A wedding overall costs about 80,000 Kenyan Shillings, or about $1000 US. The very rich spend ridiculous amounts on weddings, but that is generally seen as ridiculous!